It will never be good, but God is.

I know its been a long time since I last wrote anything its been hard to think of what to say but this is something that has really been on my mind.

If there is one thing that has been said to me the most over the last 9 months it is God will make this good. This really got me think will this situation ever be good, can losing both my grandfathers and one of my closest and best friends and little brother Jordan and his twin Evan all within a year can that ever be good? Or watching close family and friends battle cancer or struggle with suicidal thoughts can this ever be good. Or feeling so alone, standing in a room 100s of miles from those you love feeling that all it would take is a soft breeze and you would completely fall apart. The answer is no. It is never good when you lose loved one. It is never good when you watch them struggle and fight for their lives especially when they are fighting themselves. But God will take these crappy situations and make do good with them but that will never make them good.

 

Do not get me wrong I 100% believe that God is using every single one of these situations and he is working ands bring good I have seen many people hear about Christ for the first time and come to know him though these events. I have see healing and breakthrough that can only come from God and strength to contained fighting even when it seems impossible. God is working and he is there but I will never looking and be like "wow its so good that this happened" but I will be like "wow God did this good with this crappy situation, God is good"

Romans 8:28 "and we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose" I have been given this verse so many times in the past year and I agree with it completely but I also think that most of the time we don't read it or think about it in the context that it was truly written. Our idea of good and Gods can be very different, we don't see the big picture we can see the complete picture of his plan so we can't always understand why things happen the way they do. Sometimes we just want the pain to end that would be "good" but God see "good" as using our pain to help strengthen other or bring them home to him. In the end isn't that better, in the end I want everyone to be at the party in heaven so if they see how amazing God is by the way I go though trials and pain then that is "good". This life was never meant to be easy and we are not called to live comfortable lives. One of the most meaningful saying I have heard in the last 2 years was "for Christians this is the closest to hell we will ever be, but this is the closest to heaven they will ever be" so which is worse us suffering a bit now then getting to spend eternity with God or living an easy life and never being in the presence of God?

I am not saying that to be a Christian means you will suffer and life will never be good I would never wish the hopelessness of your world falling apart on anyone. But we need to be willing to be used by God in the way HE wants to bring his name to all the world. Do not be afraid to speak the name of Christ which is worse you feeling a little embarrassed that God is asking you to speak his truth to a total stranger or that person spending eternity in hell cause they never knew God?

Let God use all the pain all the struggles all the storms not to make them good but so that some good can come from them cause God has a plan and it is perfect and if you believe in him or not you are apart of his plan and he wants you and loves you more then you will ever be able to understand.

Praise God in the storms.

It has been a very hard month and I have lost count of the amount of times that I have been asked "if I am ok" or the amount of times that people have said "they are sorry". Its funny how people always say the same thing when they don't know what to say I know I do this too. But the truth is that the words don't really matter to much people just need to know that there is someone who cares and is there for them cause the truth is that no amount of words will bring that person back or even take away the pain of their loss. But there is 1 thing I do know that God is good and he does bring peace and he does bring comfort and even joy. Its the strangest feeling to feel joy while your heart is broken and your eyes are full of tears but that is how amazing our God is.






One day I sat down to just think about the events of the last few
weeks and to try and work out how I was going to adjust to this new reality and this is what I realised: all I wanted to do was "go home" I just felt so homesick that was all I wanted but then I was faced with this question "where is home?" is it here in Truro where I am currently living? Or in Calgary with my amazing friend? Or Australia with the most supportive family one can ask for? As I thought though this question I came to realise that is was all of those place and none of them at the same time. Home is with God. We are not made for this world this is not where we belong, we belong with God. It is in these time of great sorrow and hurt that we just crave him even when we don't realise that is what we are wanting. And no this does not take away the pain, this does not make going on with each day easy but it does make it easier.

God can and does bring comfort when you are so broken that even the thought of getting out of bed is to much. He will be with you as you cry your self to sleep. HE is right there as you break down in the store cause you saw someone who looked like them or remembered something you used to do together. Life will not be easy for you just because you follow God but He is with you and makes it worth living. This is a process and learning to live without someone you never thought you would live without is one of the hardest things to do but we can take hope that this is not the end that there is a life after death and that we will see our loved ones again if they believed that Christ died for them. We have an eternal hope it does not mean it will make this life better but it will definitely make the next one better.






Thank you to everyone who has supported me and especially Jordan and Evan's family over the last month, to all those in Australia who where apart of the prayer vigil during the funereal, God presents could really be felt in that place and your support was instrumental. I know I have not been able to thank you individually and have not been the best at replying but I am truly grateful. God bless you all. Love you all :)

Counting the cost

we have all heard verse like  mark 8:34 it says "if anyone would come after me let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me" but have you ever stopped to think about what this would mean? to carry his cross would be the act of carrying the beam of the a cross that a person would be killed on it was humiliating and painful walk to your own death. We are called to do this daily to die to our self and to live for Christ.

 Not once does the bible say that this life was meant to be easy but it does make it very clear that we will suffer, be hated and persecuted. While this may look very different from person to person will happen if you are living your live for Christ. We are called to not live like world but to live like Christ and that will make us different. To live a life like Christ means that we must suffer like Christ he was hated beaten and died the most humiliating and painful deaths but more than that he took the wrath of God for our sin he dies and suffered for us, we need to be willing to do the same. Dying for us was the most that he can do living for him is the lest that we can do.






There is a lot of talk about what it will cost to be obedient and follow God. What are you willing to give up and what you are willing to suffer for Christ. you may be willing to pay any cost to follow Christ, hatred, persecution, beating and even death. But what about the cost that your obedience on the around you it can often be that those you love will pay more then you will. It will affect them and they will suffer for it but this is the awesome thing about suffering for Christ is not really a loss but a gain. The people we love we have to pay the price sometimes it can be even greater on them then on us, so what is your limit, what are you willing to give up to follow Christ cause we are called to give up everything.

When we are in trials and suffering that God is not absent he has not suddenly forgotten us in fact it is just the opposite he is working all the things together for our good for those who love him. God works all things together for even the worst things together for good.While it might not seem like there is no suffering no pain no cost to high that will even compare to the glory that we are going to see. So whether it is missing out of time with family, being hated by family or friends losing people you care about, physical pain  or even death. It will be nothing compared to what Christ suffered for us.





When going though trials ans suffering do you worship God because he is good or blame him for your pain. God is always good no matter what you are going though in life he is and he his working and he is right there with you. The cost of obedience is high but the cost of disobedience is even higher.

What’s the purpose?

Why are we here? What is the meaning of all this? Is there a reason at all? There are many that struggle with questions like these both Christian and non-Christians alike. It can be easy to feel lost and alone in this world there are so many people out there that just go about their lives without really living at all, life was meant for so much more. As Christians we have a very clear and different calling on our lives.

Go therefore and make disciples of all nations baptising the in the name of the father

and of the son and of the holy spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have

commanded you. And behold I am with you always to the end of the age.

Matthew 28:19-20.

Is it that simple?  Is the reason we were created to further God kingdom on earth? We can hear all the Christian language about our lives and how we are should and should not live them.  While we should look different to the world because we are not of this world, we can get more caught up in technicalities and lose sight of God. It can become a religion rather than a relationship. We have a God who wants a relationship with us. He does not need us, he wants us. Being wanted by the God who created the universe should give us meaning and purpose.

I have seen everything that is done under the sun and behold all is meaningless,

a chasing after the wind. Ecclesiastes 1:14

There is nothing that we can do in our lives that will be of any meaning apart from God. You can have the highest paying job, amazing friends and all the joys that this world can offer but that is meaningless without God.  For what is this life on this world but a fleeting blip. God is eternal and we should live our lives for him 100% in everything we do. I am not trying to say that you should not have high paying job or amazing friends. I have the most amazing friends on the planet!!! But that is not where you should find the purpose of your life. Our purpose should come from God and the promise that he has already fulfilled with the loving sacrifice that Jesus made by dying and giving us hope. Hope for eternal life this life that we live on earth is not forever and what ever suffering we have not it will not last so giving our whole lives to God. This life on earth is the closet the Christians are going to get to hell, but it is the closet to heaven that non-Christians will ever get. we cant let this be the best for them when they have a saviour that wants them and loves them.

And if Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is in vain and your faith is in vain.

1 Corinthians 15:14

Our lives should be lived for one reason, our purpose to worship God and shine his light to the world with everything that we do. Why? Because of the gift of love that he gave us, Love that needs to be shared with everyone that does not know it. This does not mean that everyone should quit their jobs and go and live in villages in Africa telling people about Jesus. If everyone was called to that then who would reach the people who work in offices or those who drive buses, the children who will grow up to be the next generations of believers? God has placed each one of us where we are for a reason. He has given us our calling and he gives our lives meaning. All we need to do is step up, step out and shine for him.

The end of the matter all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments for

this is the whole duty of man. Ecclesiastes 12:13

One definition of fearing God is to love what he loves and hate what he hates. So can the simple answer to the question “what is the meaning of life” be love God, love others.  If God gives us meaning and purpose why would be not want to fulfill it? We should want to live our lives 100% sold out for God and we should want to share him and his love with the world. We have been given the great gift of all time why would we not want to tell people about it. Let our light shine!!

If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

1^st Corinthians 13:1-7

Home sick in my own town.

So this has been on my heart for awhile now so i just had to write it. Ever since i stared this crazy journey I have been wondering where my home which country do i call home?

So ever since i got back to Australia people keep asking me if i like being home (those who know that i am an Aussie :(  that is) other ask me where i am from thinking i am either Canadian or American silly messed up accent. or even harder they ask we were i like better here or Canada i cant answer any of these questions. But this always make me think about home and where is home. Is it here your heart is ? well my heart is both here and there (Calgary) so that is unhelpful. How can it be that i feel more homesick being here in Australia which is very weird and at first i could not figure out why.

I have the best family in the whole world (or peeps but its true) and i love them all so much and being home has been amazing to spend time with them but there is just something about being here that feels different, its like everything is the but no, same same but different. is it this place that has changed or have I? Am i not Australian anymore well the 1kg of Vegemite I have might say otherwise.

well it come to me the other week and i had this revelation before but this time it seem to just make more sense while i was studying Philippians this verse really stuck out to me-

But our citizenship is in heaven and from it we await a savoir the Lord Jesus Christ Philippians 3:20. 

I have often herd it say that we are ambassador of Christ which means Christ representative in a foreign land to. so why i am feeling homesick here in Australia this is not my home heaven is i am just waiting for the right time to go home until then i will be the ambassador of Christ here on earth.

So no matter what country i am in i will always be the foreigner because i am not of this world and i would not have it any other way even if it means i don't always feel like i belong or fit in because i belong to Christ. With this in mind i can honesty say that i will serve anywhere in any country and any location because that is why i am here no other reason then to shine the light of Christ until i am called home.


 well that is all peeps !!! hope your loving your life no matter where you are because there is always that little piece of home in your heart as the spirit burns inside of you !!!!

Love you all

Its not about me

So I know it has been a really long time since I last updated, I could come up with a heap of different reason all true yet they are just excuses the real reason is I did not see the point. To me it seemed like the only people who were reading are people who I told all the story’s to that are on here so why bother taking my time to write it out when I am just going to tell you anyway. Well here is the conclusion I came to while thinking about this it’s not about me! The reason I do what I do none of it about me and even If only 1 person reads this, if they can see the amazing work God is doing both in my life and the people around me then it is worthy it cause he is worthy !! So here is what has been happening in the last few months.

I returned to Vancouver to for a leadership school they were running. It was really fun to be back in the kitchen "full time” I put that in air quotes because the school was very small and it was super easy to cook for.  I had heaps of fun just chilling and spending my days cooking with God. It was a very good to take those months as a little more chill time (compared to the last year) and just get to know God more. One of the awesome answers to prayer that I had, I had about 2 months in-between the school finishing and starting the 9 months bible school that I was doing in September back in Aus. So I was praying and I asked God “if there is a summer camp you want me to work at show me which one” a few days later a friend ask me to come work at his summer camp with him. So I applied and I was heading to summer camp for 2 weeks or so I thought.

Having never attended a summer camp I was super excited not knowing really what would happened but I could not wait for the 2 week adventure. I arrived at the camp 2 hour before the children ( I could not attend the staff training the week before due to cooking in Vancouver) so I was in the cabin meeting all the these staff and trying to understand the way things works. Lucky there was amazing other leaders in the cabin that helped me out a lot!! Then the kids arrived it was the crazy yet awesome night, lying in bed that I was never wanted this to end and I got the idea to try and change my flight so I could work at this camp longer, within a few days I had so many people telling to stay longer so I (and by I, I mean my parents) looked at changing my flight so I could stay longer. So by the end of the first week I had changed my flights and I was working another 5 weeks at camp. I did have to go back to Vancouver to cook for a team that was coming in and pack up all my stuff. Those first 2 weeks at camp were amazing, seeing so many staff that are so on fire for the Lord giving up there summer (those under 18, which was most volunteered) to pour into this kids’ lives. I was the oldest cabin leader at this camp. It was so encouraging to see teenagers who are fully living for God trusting him and wanting to share him with the kids. I could not wait to come back and get to spend another 5 weeks at the camp with those staff and the kids!!!!

I could write story and story of amazing things that God did at the camp in my life and in those around me but that would make this blog way to long (ask me I more than happy to talk about it) but one of the best things I got from camp was amazing friends that are real and for life. It was really hard to leave Canada and return home cause I was leaving them behind L.  But the best place to be is in the center of Gods will, so I returned home and was really excited to start this bible school.

So I have been doing this school for a month now and I am LOVING IT, I spend 8-10 hours a day studying the bible and in the word and it is the greatest thing ever I am so excited to continue till we have done the whole bible and every day I fall more in the Love with God and the Bible.

Well that’s all for now and weather you enjoyed it or not I don’t really care, but I do hope you can see how amazing God !!! 

Peace Homies !!! 

Around the world and back

this update is long over due i am sorry but i been waiting till i had more then just going home to talk about. 

So we arrived back from outreach to Vancouver on feb 21st it was nice to catch up will all the staff back here and with the people from the other team. we spent a week sharing stories and debriefing these 10 days where so busy as i was only in van for 10 days before heading to Aus to spend some time with family and more importantly meet Malakai.

after those 10 days of a lot of talking a debriefing i was on a plane again back to the southern hemisphere and for the first time in 14 months set foot on Australian soil. i spent a week catching up with family and friends and got to share all my experiences of the travels i have had. it was so amazing to be able to share stories with people in person but more importantly i did not have to ware shoes for 3 weeks :) :)  there was a few people i had to surprise i totally freak out my best friend by walking up behind him and the surprise pick up of all my little sibling at school that may or may not have gotten a whole class of 6th graders to get yelled at by their teacher (whoops). so after intense and awesome 10 days in Brisbane we drove down to Canberra for the very importing meet of the nephew this was the longest 14 hours of my life. after yet another sleepless night (traveling is not all its cracked up to be) we arrived safe and sound in Canberra and i FINALLY got to hold my nephew. 

This picture was take like 30 seconds after i saw him for the first time (taking a selfie with an Iphone 3 is hard) 

spending a 10 days in Canberra with my brother and his family was amazing as i got a chance to relax we also went to the beach for the weekend and i got to spend time with Dan doing things that we love to do like mini golf and 10 pin bowling. after the 9.5 days i spent with my nephew it was time to put on shoes again and get on a plane back to Canada (which was bitter sweet time) saying good bye was so hard but i was so excited for what was in store in next, cooking for the school. 

if there is one thing u take away from this update it should be that 16 hour flights SUCK!!! i don't sleep like ever so put me on a 16 hour flight that lands at 7am is terrible ask me to go shopping for the first few days of the school that day is even worse. i got to the kitchen on the Monday to start cooking for the school with no clue what food i had bought. so the first week was a bit of an adventure. i am loving the cooking and having the time of my life here my new room mate is the best and the house i am in here is amazing and after 6 weeks its almost fully furnished, all thanks to God we really did not have to buy very much people just kept giving us stuff it has been so amazing !! 

about a week after i arrived back in Canada i was accepting into a SBS (school of biblical studies) at the sunny coast so i will be coming back to Aus for at least 10 months in August i am looking forward to being closer to family but even more so i am looking excited to be putting 9 months aside to study the word of God. 

so that was a look into the last 2 months of my life 

peace out !